Twitter Primarch Deathmatch Final - Leman Russ v Sanguinius

"The day has finally arrived - the final is here!"

"Yes it's a glorious day, the crowds are going absolutely nuts in anticipation for this final. The blood has been cleaned from the arena, the weapons are ready, the squig fighting pre-match entertainment is nearly finished and the grott brothers are about to suspend betting on the big event."

"The fanfares have sounded and here they come......"

"Out first and bringing tears to my eyes is the just splendid, fabulous Sanguinius!!!!"

Twitter Primarch Death Match Semi Final 2 Result

"The combatants walk into the arena brandishing their weapons with fight in their eyes."

"Alpharius and Omegon glance across at each other, almost like they have a plan."

"Leman Russ bares his fangs, scratches his ear and has a quick smell of his behind to check all is ok."

"The gong sounds and they're off. The twins leap forward and so does Russ. Russ is quickest and with no time to react he's got both of the twins heads in his fists and.......well I know that Russ is good at banging heads but that is ridiculous!"

"The twins are down at the wolf lords feet and that was far too easy!"

" Just like Sanguinius, Russ has had a cozy ride into the final and it will be interesting to see just who will triumph."

"Russ strolls from the arena and produces a thin smile as he looks back behind him at the prone form of the twins......That is Russ right? The twins are defeated?........"


fourdadsoftheapocalypse.blogspot.co.uk – A blog about Warhammer 40k and the Horus Heresy by four Dads

Twitter Primarch Deathmatch Semi-Final 1 Result

"Sanguinius unfurls his mighty wings and, OUCH! That looks like it hurt! Is that in the rules?"

"Sanguinius has poked Magnus right in the eye with one of those feathers. It's either a stroke of luck or a stroke of genius..."

"Magnus is down! He can't see. He's going to have a real shiner right there."

"Without his eye he's completely defenseless fumbling around on the floor as Sanguinius struts towards him like a peacock..."

"Ooooh that was clinical. I think it's all agreed that Sanguinius is victorious as Magnus' lifeless body materialises back into the warp."

Twitter Primarch Death Match Semi-Finals Draw

"Hi there fight fans, it has certainly been a while since there has been any action in the Deathmatch arena. However I am pleased to say that the Arena has been cleaned of blood and body parts and the remaining Primarchs have managed to heal themselves ready for the biggest fights of their lives."

"Yes the four Primarchs remaining are:
MAGNUS

Twitter Primarch Deathmatch Quarter-Final Result - Mortarion v Alpharius/Omegon

"This is unbelievable!! Mortarion has been struck down twice by the dynamic duo but has risen from the dead both times!"

"Yes truly epic scenes here in the Deathmatch arena as he drags himself back up after 2 serious beatings."

"The twins appear to be preparing themselves for another onslaught. They're preening in the corner at the moment, making sure that they look their best for the remembrancers."

"The polish is out as they make their armour look nice and shiny..."

"Wait a moment. I don't think they've noticed the big guy....he's right behind Omegon.....Up comes the scythe....."

"And Omegon is completely oblivious....he's got some deodorant - lynx I think..."

"Of course it's Lynx you idiot, these are demigods..."

"I can't believe he's worried about smelling nice in the deathmatch arena..."

"The arm goes up.....the scythe comes down....he sprays.....and Mortarion is down!!!!!"

"Its a full frontal floral scent right in the face!!!!"

"Of course!! It's taken the smelly one down! Why has nobody thought of this before? Anti-perspirant, the only think, apart from odour eaters, that could down the death guard!!"

"And its all over. The Alpha Legion are going crazy while the Death Guard are holding their noses. Alpharius and Omegon have made it to the semi's!"

"So we're down to four Primarchs, down from 18. Who will battle each other in the semi finals?
Stay tuned for the draw coming soon..."

fourdadsoftheapocalypse.blogspot.co.uk – A blog about Warhammer 40k and the Horus Heresy by four Dads

Twitter Primarch Deathmatch Q-Final Result - Sanguinius v Angron

"...and Angron is going to town! Those mighty fists are moving like pistons!"

" Wait! Hang on. Sanguinius is on the other side of the arena. It looks like he is just leaning against the wall smoking a very large and expensive cigar!! What is going on?"

" Well I saw it all and mid fight Sanguinius was seen whispering a few sweet nothings into the Big beasts ear. He then backed off and left Angry Angron to it."

"So?"

"Well we all know that the big man has a little temper. We all know that when he loses it he has no idea what he is doing. Sanguinius obviously just banked on the fact that he could get Angron so angry he would just beat himself up!"

"Oh and there it is! Angron takes himself down!! And the mighty angel stubs out his cigar and wanders off down the tunnel refreshed and ready for the semi-final!"

"Well that was certainly interesting - and sneaky! Fair played but we have no time to waste. As you Deathmatch fans know we have a double bill tonight and with Sanguinius winning that paves the way for the last Quarter-final which is..."

MORTARION

vs

ALPHARIUS/OMEGON

"Better get voting right now fight fans on @4dadsapocalypse on Twitter."





fourdadsoftheapocalypse.blogspot.com – A blog about Warhammer 40k and the Horus Heresy by four Dads

Twitter Primarch Deathmatch result - Horus Lupercal v Leman Russ

"Mmmm donuts. Thank you Mr dinosaur and I love your purple spots....uh.....what?.....who?....oh sorry Deathmatch fans I appear to have dozed off! Have they finished circling each other yet? Oh and here's some action....yes Leman Russ has finally twigged that his pack isn't going to turn up because they're on their own in the arena and he's finally going on the offensive!"

"Horus is looking around for some help, but there isn't any. Has no one told him the rules?!"

"In goes Russ and wait, what is that he's doing? He's fishing something shiny and metallic out of his armour. He's stuffing it in his bolt pistol. It can't be! It is! He takes aim. Horus has realised what is going on and has started running!"

"Well now we see the true colours of the Warmaster. The shot rings out. Horus goes down.....and stays down. That was a great shot, right in the small of the back. Horus can't move and up comes Russ....He aims again this time for the heart. Ouch! That has to hurt."

"That's it folks. All it takes is 2 silver bullets and the big wolf is down."

"Well done Leman. Boring but well done!!!"

"OK Deathmatch fans, stay tuned for the draw for the last two quarter finals coming up soon."

Twitter Primarch Deathmatch Quarter Final 2 - Horus Lupercal v Leman Russ

"The first of the quarter finals has certainly set the bar high after that epic encounter between the Lion and Magnus."

"Yes and it should only get better with 6 heavyweight contenders left in the draw."

"The second draw is fast approaching and it could be between Sanguinius, Alpharius/Omegon, Mortarion, Leman Russ, Angron or Horus."

"Firstly we have to introduce our guest for the draw this evening and we are delighted to have Lileth Hesperax with us"

"........"

"Please put your tongue back in or she'll surely have it off! Yes she's only wearing a bikini - not even shoes!!! But Lileth is a top order bad ass!"

"Sorry about that, very unprofessional of me there. Now let me concentrate. Ah yes here she is approaching the draw table and incredible! Showing her lethality, a deft flick of her hair see's the hidden barbs woven into it spear a draw ball and flick it out of the pot onto the table!"

"She opens it up with those knives of hers and reveals.....Horus Lupercal!"

"The Warmaster himself is back in the arena after an easy victory last time. But who will face him?"

"The hair flicks and the knives work once more but who is it going to be?"

"It's Leman Russ! It will be wolf on wolf for this fight and let's hope the great wolf can control his bladder this time."

"What a great match in store for us this time. There is only one way to work out the winner - get to @4dadsapocalypse on twitter and vote for your favourite fight fans!"

Twitter Primarch Deathmatch Magnus v Lion El'Jonson Result

"This is incredible! It looks like a double KO. Both Primarch's are on the floor, Magnus has barely a cheekbone left after that right hook but just got a witchfire strike off into the chest of the Lion before the lights went out."

"Yes the warp charge is still dancing across the probe form of Jonson as we speak."

"Wait. There's movement. Both Primarch's are on the move. They're both fighting off the darkness. Who will get up first? Surely the victor will be the first one to rise and strike again?"

"The Lion has made it to his knees, the warp energy is still making him shudder."

"Magnus is struggling - wait what is this? The Lion's sword is rising. This is incredible. Magnus has a broken body but his mind is back and seeking retribution."

"The Lion is still on his knees. The sword is above him.......oooooohhh, that has to smart. Those golden locks are no more attached to his body and Magnus is triumphant in what has been an amazing fight!"

"Yes Magnus is the first through to the semi finals so well done to him and stay with us death match fans for the next quarter final draw..."

Twitter Primarch Deathmatch Quarter Final 1 - Magnus v Lion El'Jonson

"Following a short break so that the victorious Primarch's could heal their wounds and the arena could be cleaned of limbs the Deathmatch studio is geared up for the quarter finals."

"Just eight (nine) Primarch's still stand in the competition - Sanguinius, Horus, Leman Russ, Lion El'Jonson, Magnus, Alpharius/Omegon, Angron and Mortarion. These Primarch's now have nothing to prove having already beaten 10 of their brothers to a bloody pulp."

"That's true but means absolutely nothing if they go out at this stage and the tension has ramped up this week. The training dummies and apothecaries have never been busier as have Angron's legion undertakers!"

"And so this is it, the draw for the first match of the quarter finals. To pick the contestants our special guest is..... Fabius Bile!!"

"Yes the famed monstrosity from the Emperors Children clicks his way in looking very young for his age."

"Obviously had a few skin grafts in his time but I have to say this one's a real beauty. I may have to have a chat about that off air..."

"Anyway back to the draw and one of the spidery mechadendrites clicks its way into the bowl and out comes one of the famous Deathmatch balls.....it's Magnus the Red!!!" 

"The Maroon wizard is out again after his demolishing of Ferrus Manus in the first round. Now who will he draw? In goes another metal tentacle...."

"The second ball comes out and it's....Lion El'Jonson!!"

"The third appearance for the big liar - sorry Lion - He defeated Corvus Corax and Konrad Curze in the first 2 rounds and without a 'C' in his name will he be able to defeat Magnus?"

"Well Deathmatch fans, the first 2 quarter finalists are on their way to the arena so it's time to get voting for your favourite. Get yourselves on Twitter @4dadsapocalypse and post your vote. See you soon"

Twitter Primarch Deathmatch End of the first round recap

It started with 18 and now 10 Primarch's have been defeated. We are down to the last 8 and here are the results so far:

Qualifying Round 1 : Rogal Dorn vs Perturabo
Qualifying Round 2 : Lion El'Jonson vs Corvus Corax

Match 1 : Mortarion vs Roboute Guilliman

Match 2 : Magnus vs Ferrus Manus

Match 3 : Alpharius/Omegon vs Lorgar

Match 4 : Lion El'Jonson vs Konrad Curze

Match 5 : Fulgrim vs Angron

Match 6 : Rogal Dorn vs Sanguinius

Match 7 : Horus vs Jaghatai Khan

Match 8 : Vulkan vs Leman Russ

By far the closest match was Mortarion v Guilliman which went to an amazing extra time and the easiest match was Magnus causing Ferrus Manus to fall over by simply looking at him!

Looking at the stats it would seem that there are definitely some favourite Primarch's out there - Horus, Leman Russ, Lion El'Johnson and Sanguinius are looking most likely to go all the way. However it completely depends on the random draw.

For me the biggest surprise was how popular the Lion is and that he managed to knock out both Curze and Corax who I thought would get lots of votes. I was also surprised at the lack of love for both Perturabo and Rogal Dorn who not only didn't do well but didn't recieve any love on Twitter!

These Quarter finals look very promising though with some tough primarch's in there so I guess we'd better get on with the draw....

See you soon,

James

Twitter Primarch Deathmatch Week 10 Result - Vulkan v Leman Russ

"Really Leman?! Will someone please get him off Vulkan's leg? That's disgusting!!! These Deathmatches are really going to the digs!!"

"I agree. Vulkan's leg is still twitching he really should be ashamed of himself."

"Oh well. That disgusting act of desecration wraps up this Primarch Deathmatch with a comprehensive victory for Leman Russ."

"Yes even as Vulkan resurrects himself and wipes his trouser leg (urghh) the rules state that for any perpetuals an incapacitation will count as a death."

"So as the great wolf strides into the quarter finals looking very confident we are going to have a break before we come back with a recap on what has happened so far. See you soon."

Twitter Primarch Deathmatch Week 10 - Vulkan He'stan v Leman Russ

"Well this is the one that a lot of Deathmatch fans have been waiting for."

"Yes the Arena is PACKed out with Wolves and the smell is incredible."

"THER ARE TOILETS YOU KNOW!! Sorry but guys are just animals."

"Anyway the big hairy one is Leman Russ striding into the arena and all I can say is that I hope Vulkan has packed his silver bullets."

"The other side of the arena produces another giant as Vulkan He'stan rolls in. Can he toast a Wolf? I guess we'll soon find out."

"Actually the big question here is can Vulkan actually be killed? Sorry for those who don't read enough but in the Deathmatch arena Vulkan has a special rule - Incapacitated counts as dead."

 

"Having cleared that little issue up, the hunters are primed and ready for this battle of Fire vs Ice."

 

"Who will win? You must know the drill by now - Vote @4dadsapocalypse on twitter now!

Twitter Primarch Deathmatch Week 9 Result - Horus Lupercal v Jaghatai Khan

"The Khan is dancing around Horus, goading him to make a move. It's a fake here and a sidestep there but Horus just will not be drawn in."

"Yes these thrusts really aren't doing much...."

(4 Days later)

"And Horus still hasn't reacted to Jaghatai's triple twisting back roundhouse. He's just letting his armour take it. Jaghatai really needs some support here."

"Wait, Horus moved I'm sure of it. Horus has reacted at last and caught Jaghatai's foot in his talon. He's dangling him upside down and around comes Worldbreaker.....Ooooh that's not pretty....."

"So Horus wins with only one movement and who would bet against him in this tournament?"

"We've already had the draw for the last match in the first round so lets introduce the contenders...."

Twitter Primarch Deathmatch Week 9 - Horus v Jaghatai Khan

"The excitement in the deathmatch studio is electric this evening as a belated draw takes place for Week 9. We only have 4 Primarch's left to fight in the first round and have we got 4 heavyweights still to go!!!"

"You're absolutely right, left in the draw we have Jaghatai Khan, Leman Russ, Vulkan He'stan & Horus Lupercal."

"And the only person that can possibly make this draw and resist any kind of foul play or temptation is.....GREGOR EISENHORN!!!!"

"Dead right there. If you can imagine an insane, religious zealot crossed with James Bond then you end up with this legend walking into the studio's now...."

"One of the most radical members of the Ordo Xenos - in fact he got booted out for enjoying his job a little too much! - he has turned his back on saving the galaxy for five minutes to bring us a fair draw here in the Primarch Deathmatches...."

"In the pot goes that gauntleted hand..."

"Out comes the first ball....and it is....HORUS LUPERCAL!!!!"

 "So the naughtiest boy of all time is out for blood tonight. Will his toys come out of the pram or will he have his botty spanked? Here goes for the next draw...."

"The ball is gently lifted by Eisenhorn, opened and it's.....the beast from the East - JAGHATAI KHAN!!!!"

"It's a proper Jackie Chan v Dolph Lundgren fight this and it should be amazing!"

"Of course that leaves us with next weeks match up being Vulkan He'stan v Leman Russ but more on them later."

"Back to tonight and entering the arena are Horus and The Khan. Who is going to win? Only you can decide - vote now on Twitter @4dadsapocalypse.

Twitter Primarch Deathmatch Week 8 Result - Rogal Dorn v Sanguinius

"Well he never really had a chance did he? Frozen by the beauty and splendour of Sanguinius's presence Dorn could never withstand those perfect, white, silk feathers. Right under the chin too!"

"That's right, but if you're gonna go, go down laughing and he certainly did. They'll be burying him with a smile on his face tonight."

"So the big red angel starts his campaign with an easy victory and leaves us with just four Primarchs to fight in the first round."

"Join us back in the studio to reveal the draw for the final two matches..."

Twitter Primarch Deathmatch Week 8 - Rogal Dorn v Sanguinius

"And so 7 have been downed so far leaving just 6 Primarch's left in the first round. Who will be fighting this week? It's time we found out and drawing the next 2 balls out of the bowl will be Commissar Yarrick!"

"Yes the old fossil has joined us this evening giving up his retirement time so lets see just who is fighting this week."

(Whispers) "Poor old devil, can't see very well now can he? And that claw he barely has the strength to lift it"

"CLANK, CLANK!"

"No Sir you need to use you're other hand, that one won't fit into the bowl sir."

(Whispers)"Looks like he's lost his marbles too by the look of things. Careful of his stare though..."

"Anyway, here is the first ball and it is going to be....ROGAL DORN!!"

"The second time he has fought in these matches defeating Perturabo in the qualifying round of course."

"Who is his opponent going to be this time? The withered old hand goes in and.......it's going to be....SANGUINIUS!!!"

"So we have the dull, boring defence of Dorn versus the angelic splendour of Sanguinius. This should be an amazing Deathmatch. Who wins? You decide so get voting onTwitter @4dadsapocalpyse now!!

Twitter Primarch Deathmatch Week 7 - Result - Fulgrim v Angron

"...and Fulgrim raises his sword aloft ready to finish the downed Angron. This could be it!.....Wait, he's stopped.....What is he doing?.......He's started crying!.....Where's he looking?.......Is that? It can't be! He's seen his reflection in one of the monitors....He's realised his face has been damaged!!!"

"And that folks is how Angron took that beautiful but messed up head right off its shoulders. The moral of the story is that vanity will get you distracted and therefore your head cut off! And Angron goes through to the Quarter Finals with no such problems!!"

"Stay tuned Deathmatch fans for our next draw coming up soon..."

Twitter Primarch Deathmatch Week 7 - Fulgrim v Angron

"The excitement is building here in the Deathmatch Studios. There are only 8 Primarch's left to fight in Round 1 with some big fan favourites to still be drawn. The 8 left are Horus, Sanguinius, Angron, Vulkan, Dorn, Leman Russ, Fulgrim and The Khan!"

"And here is our special guest for the draw this evening.....Ravenor!"

"Are you ok Ravenor? Can we get some help here please? Really? The studios aren't disability friendly? He can't get his chair through the door? This is outrageous and completely unacceptable, I tell you heads will roll for this."

"Never mind the show must go on. Ravenor can you use your enhanced Psychic powers to draw the balls from outside the studio? Yes? Fantastic."

"And here we go, the balls are trembling....and yes, one is rising up out of the bowl now.....it's actually glowing! What do you mean that isn't you Ravenor? It's beautiful, how have we not noticed that particular ball before? This can only mean one thing.....the first competitor is.....Fulgrim!"

"Thank you Rav, now can we have the next ball please. What is happening here? I think that Ravenor's psychic force is having an effect on the draw here. The bowl is filling with......BLOOD! What is going on? Hang on, a ball is emerging from the fluid. This can mean only one thing.....BLOOD FOR THE BLOOD GOD! It's Angron!"

"What a treat we are going to have for this Deathmatch. It's the beauty of The Phoenician v the violence of Angron!"

"This could be close so while we clear up this mess in the studio, let's fight! Go and vote for your favourite @4dadsapocalypse now!"

Twitter Primarch Deathmatch Week 6 - Result - Lion El'Jonson v Konrad Curze

"It's the oldest trick in the book, Konrad never had a chance! You can hear the boo's on Mars!"

"Well the Lion certainly knows how to win that's for sure."

"Yes but wearing garlic and necklaces with crosses? Fixing the match to start at midday and then making sure that the roof on the Deathmatch arena opened halfway through the fight?"

"You're right, Konrad couldn't cope with the sunlight and it was all over when the stake went in..."

"Either way the Lion makes it 2 from 2 and Curze can go back to his coffin."

"Stay with us though fight fans as we still have the draw for week 7 coming right up..."